


Bad Religion

by thesherlockianwhjustcant



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkward Flirting, Awkwardness, Cute, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Homeless Rey, Mobster Kylo, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Alternating, Poe is a good friend, Slow Build, Slow Burn, background stormpilot, knowing me there will be smut, mafia, mild violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-09-16 19:44:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16960347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesherlockianwhjustcant/pseuds/thesherlockianwhjustcant
Summary: Reylo fic partially inspired by the song "Bad Religion" by Frank Ocean and by the prompt: "you lose your wallet, and it is found by a mob boss, who figures out that you aren’t in such a good place financially, and takes pity on you."Or, the story in which Kylo is a part of the local mafia and takes an interest in Rey, a lonely homeless girl with whom he has an undeniable connection.





	1. Chapter 1

“Sir? We have a situation.”

Kylo Ren looked up from the papers in front of him and frowned at the dark headed man poking his head into Kylo’s office. “I thought I was clear. You are not to disturb me when I am in here.”

“I know, but—”

“There are no exceptions.” With that, he resumed looking over the file in front of him, nonverbally dismissing the man. 

However, he didn’t get the hint. “Sir, I understand, but Hux sent me, and—”

“Fine,” Kylo bit out, standing up abruptly and storming out of his study. Hux should know better than to disturb him, but he’d always liked toying with Kylo, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise to him that he would pull this shit now. 

Winding his way through the mansion, Kylo followed the faint sound of voices down into the basement, stopping before the closed door to the “detainment” room. Without knocking, Kylo barged in, cutting off whatever Hux was saying. “What’s so urgent you had to send one of your little errand boys to come get me?”

Hux scowled at him as he gestured to the third person in the room. A man, vaguely recognizable to Kylo, sat in a chair, his eyes wide and jittery, his lower lip caught between his teeth, but the man was not restrained. Kylo looked back to Hux for more explanation and noticed Hux held a small, brown, leather purse in his hand. “This man stole this off a woman leaving a recycling center.”

“I see… What is he doing here?”

“You know the rules, Ren. None of our men may commit petty crimes. They draw too much attention.” 

Kylo looked back at the man in the chair, looking him over again. He did look familiar, must be because he was one of them. “Give me that,” he said, holding his hand out to Hux, who relented possession of the purse. It was more like a fanny pack than a purse, but it had a long strap. He opened it up and looked inside. Not much was there. Just some cash, a tampon and a pad, and some kind of ID card. Kylo pulled it out, clenching his jaw. She was striking. Dark hair, fair features, eyes he’d probably drown in if he saw them in person. “There a reason you stole a purse off a homeless woman?”

“H-homeless?” The man stuttered out.

The ID card was for the local half way house. She’d need it to get back into it. “Apparently.” Kylo shook his head. “Look, we don’t make the rules,” he said. “You got a problem with them, you better take it up with Snoke. Is that who you want to talk to?”

The man’s eyes widened even more—if that were possible—and shook his head.

“You fuck up again, that’s who you’ll be dealing with, understood?” 

The man nodded urgently, and Kylo turned to leave the room, stopping briefly to give Hux an order. “Knock him around a bit. Remind him what it costs to break the rules.” 

With that, he headed back to his study, still holding the woman’s purse in his hands.

*****

Rey didn’t know what to do. She’d tried to get her purse back. She really had. She had chased the guy nearly ten blocks before she lost him. She had exactly three things to her name: the clothes on her back, the shoes on her feet, and the small purse she used to carry her cash and ID card. Now she had two things. That ID card would give her a cooked meal, a hot shower and a safe place to sleep; without it, she would be forced back into where she used to live: a rusted out VW van in the Jakku junkyard. She couldn’t stand the idea of going back there, so she decided to go back to the shelter and hope against hope that Poe was working the desk and would help her get a new ID card.

As she trudged up to the door, a security guard stopped her and asked, “Do you have ID?”

“No, I lost—”

“I can’t let you in without ID. If you’d like to join the shelter, you can fill out an application tomorrow at noon.”

Rey clenched her jaw, trying to remain calm and not panic. “Look, I’ve been here for over a month. My ID got stolen. If you let me in, I can prove it. Please.”

The guard remained unsympathetic to her pleas. “You’re not the first person to claim they lost their non-existent ID. I can’t let you in.”

Rey huffed a sigh and turned to go. Where? She didn’t know, but she knew it was pointless to stand here and argue with a man, who really was just doing his job… She groaned out of frustration and started to walk in the direction of the junkyard when she heard a familiar voice call out to her.

“Rey!” 

She turned to find Poe stepping out of the shelter’s front door. She walked back to where he stood next to the security guard.

“She’s a resident here, Max. I’m vouching for her.” Max nodded as Poe led Rey into the building. “Someone dropped this off about an hour ago,” he said, reaching over the counter of the front desk and producing her purse. 

Rey gasped. “Who?” She took the purse and hugged it close to her as if it were a long lost friend. 

Poe shrugged. “Dunno. Odd looking guy, if I do say so myself. He just dropped this off and told me to make sure you get it, almost looked like the guy thought his life depended on it…” Poe trailed off, shaking his head. “Just weird.”

“I never thought I’d see it again,” Rey said. “I was coming out of the recycling center, and this guy just grabbed it and ran. I chased him, but he was faster… didn’t think he’d return it.”

“Don’t question it. Just be happy it made its way back to you.”

Rey smiled at him and nodded. “See you at dinner,” she said as she headed up to her room. She needed a nice hot shower before mealtime, especially after the day she’s had. When she reached her room, she took a seat on her bed and took off her shoes. It occurred to her then to check her purse to see if anything was missing. 

Thankfully, all her cash was accounted for, only twenty dollars, but better than nothing, and her ID card was there too. It all looked— _ what’s that? _   She pulled out a folded envelope. Curious, she opened it, finding three, crisp one-hundred dollar bills and a note. She blinked a few times out of shock. Had she really gotten her purse back with  _ more _ money in it than when she lost it? How was that even possible? Hoping it would explain the extra three hundred dollars, she read the note. In beautiful, scrawling script, it read:

_ Let me apologize on behalf of my employee. As soon as I found out what he had done, I made sure to return this to you. An occurrence such as this one will never happen again. You have my word. ~Ben _

Rey frowned as she read the note six more times.  _ Who the hell is Ben? And why did he give me money? _   She was beyond confused as she went to take a shower, but thinking about the note, the money, and all that had happened that day, she chose to follow Poe’s advice.

“Don’t question it,” she told herself. “Just be happy it happened.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a few chapters already written for this fic, so hopefully, I can update somewhat regularly... but we will see. Hope you all enjoy!!

Kylo hadn’t intended to stalk Rey. He really hadn’t, and if we wanted to get technical,  _ he  _ wasn’t the one doing the stalking. No, he had his assistant doing the actual stalking and reporting back to him. So  _ technically _ , he wasn’t stalking Rey. He wasn’t. He  _ was _ obsessed with her, however. Very, very obsessed with her.

It had been almost two weeks since he'd had her purse returned to her, and ever since, he'd been curious about her. And remarkably, he'd learned a lot. She'd been homeless practically all her life as far as he could tell. No sign of any family, but it was hard to find much out about them without her last name. She collected cans and turned them into the recycling center for cash while also applying to odd jobs here and there and everywhere. And she had one set of clothes. Just one. She wore the same thing every day, and if he wasn't mistaken, she only washed the outfit once a week. It must have smelled horribly come Sunday. Kylo couldn't imagine wearing the same clothes every single day.

That was how he found himself in the women's section of the local department store. He had absolutely no idea what he was doing, but whatever it was, he was determined to do it. 

A saleswoman walked up to him and asked, “Is there something I can help you with, sir?”

He spared her a quick glance before focusing back on the rack of clothes before him. “I'm just… browsing,” he said tersely.

“Looking for a wife or daughter?”

“Neither.”

The woman raised an eyebrow but said, “Well, let me know if you need anything,” and she let him be.

Kylo released a sigh and started sorting through the clothes in front of him. He didn't think any of it was right. None of it fit what he was looking for in his mind’s eye. Finally, he left the department store and went to his personal tailor instead. After briefing him on his situation, he left the man to do his handiwork with promises to return in the morning. 

When Kylo met his tailor in the morning, he was more than pleased with what he had been able to do given the short amount of time. 

“You really are a genius,” he said.

His tailor smiled and took the compliment humbly as they said their goodbyes. Kylo returned to his office and packed the clothes into a cardboard box, taping it up when he was done. “Finn!” He called in his assistant.

“Yes sir?”

“Take this box to this address,” he handed him a post-It with the shelter's address on it. “Tell the desk attendant it's for Rey.”

His assistant had learned not to ask questions over the past couple weeks, and he accepted this job with no more than an assurance of it getting done. 

After his assistant left him, Kylo sat back in his chair and smiled slightly, feeling good about what he'd done.

*****

Rey was sitting at the front desk with Poe when the package arrived. She heard the door to the shelter open, but she didn’t turn to look until Poe said, “Hey, that’s the guy who dropped off your purse.”

Rey turned and looked at the man walking into the shelter with a somewhat large box in his hands. His eyes widened slightly when he spotted Rey, but he quickly regained his composure and walked right up to the desk. 

“Um, I have a package for Rey,” he said, his voice a little shaky. Rey looked him over for a moment before responding. He was dressed in a white button down with a black tie and slacks. He looked like he had money, but maybe not a lot of it.  _ Could this be Ben?   _ she wondered.

“I’m Rey,” she said, accepting the box from him. On top of it was a post-it note with the address of the shelter written in Ben’s beautiful script. 

Poe spoke up from beside her. “Hey, weren’t you the guy who dropped off her purse a couple weeks ago?”

The man nodded. “I guess so.”

“Well, that was nice of you.”

“Yes,” Rey said. “Thank you! You have no idea how much trouble I would have been in if you hadn’t dropped it off.”

The man looked sheepish. “Oh, it’s no problem, really.”

“Where did you find it?” She’d been wondering about that over the past couple of weeks. 

The man’s eyes widened again, just slightly as if caught off guard, but eventually, he said, “Oh, I, uh, I just found it on the sidewalk… I picked it up and found your ID inside and figured I’d return it.”

This man must be Ben, then. He had to be. “What’s your name?” She asked, though she was sure she knew the answer.

“Finn,” he said, surprising her. 

“Oh,” she said, almost sounding disappointed. 

“I’m Poe.” Poe held out his hand, and Finn shook it. “You should come by again some time,” he said, “we’re always in need of volunteers.”

Finn nodded. “Maybe I will… I gotta go.” He gave an awkward wave and left the shelter. Poe followed his retreating figure, a glint in his eyes, and Rey rolled her eyes and hit him playfully on the arm.

He snapped his gaze back to her. “What? He’s cute.”

She just laughed. Looking back at the box in front of her, she said, “I’m going to take this up to my room before I go collecting. I’ll see you later.”

Poe waved as she left him. She carried the box up to her room and set it on her bed. She used her pocket knife to cut through the tape and open the box. Inside, she found an envelope on top of some tissue paper. She opened it first, finding another three hundred dollars with yet another note from Ben:

_ One outfit is not enough. ~Ben _

Well, that was short and to the point. Shaking her head, Rey pulled out the rest of the stuff in the box. Three pairs of pants, two pairs of shorts, six shirts, two skirts, and one dress. All of them were neutrally toned—grey, brown, black, all varying shades. The fabric was light and sturdy, good for withstanding the heat  _ and _ for what she currently did for a living. The only thing that was a little fancier was the dress, but it was still simple. It was a black short-sleeved dress with a V neckline and a white ribbon that would tie around the waist when worn. All of it was beautiful, nice clothing. 

And all of it was too much. 

She tried to find price tags, but couldn’t find tags of  _ any _ kind. Not even brand-name tags. What in the hell? Finally, on a pair of pants, she found a patch on the waistline that read  _ First Order Tailoring _ . These clothes were  _ tailored  _ ?  Okay, who the hell was Ben, and how did he afford all this?

_ And why in the world is he sending  _ me _ all this? _


	3. Chapter 3

“Could I help you, miss?”

Rey spun around, startled by the sudden voice behind her. She found an older man with a greying beard looking at her with raised eyebrows. “Oh, um, yes. I was wondering if you could tell me who bought these.” She produced a pair of the pants that Ben had sent to her.

The man raised an eyebrow. “I’m not sure I understand.”

Rey sighed. “I got these as a gift, but I don’t know who gave it to me… I want to thank them.”

The man opened his mouth in an O as understanding dawned on him. “I see. Follow me.” He led her farther into the store to a register in the back. “Can I see those?” he asked, referring to the pants.

Rey handed them over, hope in her growing. She was going to find him if it was the last thing she did. After a few moments of looking over the pants and typing some things into the computer, she had her answer.

“Ah, yes. Mr. Ren purchased these.”

Rey frowned.  _ His name is Ben Ren? _ “Who?”

“Mr. Kylo Ren,” he clarified. “He purchased these and many other items a few days ago.”

“Kylo?” she echoed.  _ Who is Kylo? _ All of this was starting to grate on her nerves. “Not Ben?”

The man raised an eyebrow at that before shaking his head. “No, Mr. Ren definitely purchased these.”

Rey chewed her bottom lip, disappointed. “Okay, well, thank you,” she said, taking her pants back. Questions about Ben’s identity swirled her mind as she made her way back to the shelter. 

She was so distracted by her thoughts that she didn’t see the pair of feet cross into her path, and she ran into a massive human being. She nearly stumbled back and fell—  _ nearly _ because the person she’d run into caught her wrist and steadied her. 

“I’m sorry,” she said, a bit breathless as she smoothed down her clothes and looked up at the man she’d walked into. Her breath caught in her throat. 

A tall, dark-headed man stood before her, and he was startlingly attractive, but that wasn’t what made her throat run dry. No, it was his eyes— dark and closed off… and sad. They looked over her before meeting her own, and then they widened as if in surprise or recognition. But she knew it couldn’t be the latter. She’d never seen this man in her life.

“No,” he said, his voice deep and commanding. “It’s my fault. I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Me either,” she said with a small smile. His eyes followed the movement of her lips.

For a moment, they just stared at each other, and for a moment, he looked pained, like he wanted something he couldn’t have. He inched closer, tilted his head, but then stopped, his brow pinched and his eyes even more pained than before. Then—

“Ren!” A sharp, British voice called out, and the man standing before Rey closed his eyes. When he opened them again, they were hard once again. 

“Coming,” he called over his shoulder, yet his eyes didn’t leave Rey’s. They stared at each other for a heartbeat longer before he turned on his heel and climbed into a black town car a few paces away. 

Rey watched the car pull away from the curb and disappear onto the busy street before she realized what the red-headed man had called him. Ren.  _ Ren? _ Could that have been… no, it wasn’t possible. It was too much of a coincidence.

But there had been that look, as if he’d recognized her…

*****

Kylo was deaf to the sounds around him. He’d never seen her in person. He’d never seen her soft, soft eyes or heard her melodic voice. Until today. She was even more beautiful in person. And those eyes… he knew they’d strike him, that they’d  _ see _ him, and they had. She had. 

“Kylo!” Hux punctuated his exclamation with a punch to his arm, and he jumped slightly. “Get your head out of the clouds, or I’ll tell Snoke you’re too weak to do field work.”

“Try it. He won’t believe you,” Kylo said, relaxed. 

“ _ Prove _ it,” Hux hissed. 

They pulled to a stop in front of a rundown apartment building. Kylo looked up at it. It was the kind of place where he may have found his father back when he was younger, back when his father had… issues. Now, it was a place where he went to do business. Phasma was waiting by the entrance. You’d think her bright blonde hair combined with her extraordinary height that she’d stick out like a sore thumb, but she somehow managed to blend in and was almost undetectable. 

“I’ll be back when you’re done,” Hux said. 

With that, Kylo got out of the car, closing the door a little harder than he meant to. Seeing Rey had shaken him, but he needed to push it out of his mind if he was going to do his job. 

Phasma greeted him with a nod and a curt, “Sir.”

He nodded as a way of greeting as well and followed her into the building. She briefed him on the situation as they climbed the stairs to the third floor.

“We’ve warned him of his late payments many times, and he has yet to pay up. The Supreme Leader thought we should pay him a visit so that we may  _ refresh _ his memory.” 

Kylo nodded but had to suppress an eye-roll at Phasma’s use of “Supreme Leader.” It was such a stupid thing to want to be called, in his opinion, but “Mr. Snoke,” just didn’t have the same ring to it. And they couldn’t quite call him a mob boss because that would broadcast their illicit dealings to everyone within earshot, which was the opposite of what they wanted. So “Supreme Leader” it was. Kylo hated it.

They came to a stop at apartment 6C. Kylo could hear music coming from behind the door, and a couple places down, he heard two people arguing and two people fucking in the opposite direction.  _ Thin walls _ , he thought,  _ not good _ . 

He touched Phasma’s arm before she knocked. “We’ll need to be quiet,” he whispered. She simply nodded, and then she knocked. 

A few moments later, a man with bloodshot eyes opened the door. As soon as he caught a good look at the two of them, he looked like he was going to slam the door, but before he even fully recognized them, they had pushed their way in and closed the door behind them. He didn’t even have the sense to  _ try _ to run, maybe to a window with a fire-escape, maybe to a bathroom to lock himself in. But no, he just looked at them with wide eyes, filled with fear. 

A heartbeat passed among them, and then the man was on his knees before them. “Please,” he said, “please. I’ll pay. Please, please, don’t hurt me.”

“Do you have the money ready? Here, now?” Phasma asked.

“N-no, but I can—”

“We don’t have time for your excuses,” she said simply, pulling a long cloth out of her pocket. 

Taking advantage of the man on his knees, she gagged him with the cloth, tying it securely behind his head. He tried to reach up and undo the knot, but she caught his wrists and bound them behind his back with a pair of flex cuffs. It had been a while since Kylo had worked with Phasma, and he’d forgotten how swift and efficient she was. Once his hands were bound, she hoisted the man up and led him farther into the apartment. 

Kylo followed. 

She pushed him into the bedroom at the back of the apartment, and turned to Kylo. “He’s all yours.”

Kylo walked past her and joined the man in the bedroom. Phasma shut the door behind him. The man was crying now, moaning pleas behind his gag, but Kylo had shut down. The moment he’d entered the building, his emotions had fled him. He was no longer a feeling human being. He was simply a robot, doing Snoke’s bidding without hesitation or question.

So the man’s pleading eyes and moans had no effect on him. He was here to do a job. And he’d do it. So he beat him to within an inch of his life. By the time he was done, he’d probably broken a number of the man’s ribs, his nose, maybe even a kneecap. As Kylo stepped back, panting, he looked down at the man’s now-swollen eyes then at his bloody knuckles. His hands were steady, his body nonplussed at the chaos it had just wrought on another person. Clenching his jaw, he turned and left the room. 

He brushed past Phasma and went to the bathroom to wash up. He rubbed the blood off his knuckles before throwing some cold water on his face. He released a breath into the sink as his sense of self flowed back into him. He dried his hands and face as Phasma joined him.

“We’re done here,” she said. “Hux is outside.”

Kylo nodded and followed her back out to the town car, waiting at the curb. He slid in next to Hux, who paid Phasma before the car pulled away and drove them back to headquarters. Hux started saying something, but Kylo wasn’t listening. Just like earlier, he was deaf to the world around him. His mind was consumed with thoughts of the woman who’d ran into him earlier. With her soft,  _ soft _ eyes. Eyes that saw through him, though they didn’t understand yet. 

Who was he kidding? How would she ever see anything but bad in him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapters will start to get longer after this one, and I'll be trying to update as much as possible, but I can't promise it will be super consistent. Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos and lovely comments!! I always appreciate hearing from my readers! 
> 
> Here's the next chapter! I'm about to go out of town and probably won't be writing much, so I likely won't update again until January, but hopefully this will tie you over. Hope you all enjoy!!

Rey was certain the man she had run into yesterday was Kylo Ren. What she didn’t know was how he was related to Ben, or why he had bought her the clothes but Ben had claimed the credit. And she still didn’t know why he had even done such a thing for her. She needed to talk to him, to meet him, but she had no real way of finding him. 

She had a feeling that she may get another delivery from Ben today— it was nothing more than a gut feeling, but she trusted her gut. So she sat at the front desk with Poe and helped him, in hopes of seeing Ben’s assistant walk through the door. She had written him a letter, and she was hoping she could get Finn to give it to his boss. 

It wasn’t until almost four in the afternoon, when Rey started to think that Finn wouldn’t show, that Finn showed up. He smiled hesitantly at her and Poe, but she got the feeling he wasn’t nervous because of  _ her _ . 

“This is for you,” he told Rey, holding out an envelope, no doubt with more money in it. He turned like he was about to leave when Rey stopped him.

“Wait,” she said. “It’s Finn, right?” He nodded. “You work for him, don’t you? For Ben?”

He frowned. “For who?”

“The man who’s sending all this to me.”

“Oh, uh, yes.”

She held out an envelope of her own. “Can you give this to him?”

For a moment, he just looked at the envelope in Rey’s hand, and she started to think he wouldn’t take it. Then, he reached out and took it, though his movements were hesitant. “I… I’m not sure what he wants with you…”

“I’m not asking  _ you _ ,” Rey said simply. “I’m asking him.”

Finn’s eyes met hers, filled with confusion and what looked like wonder. “I can’t promise he’ll give you an answer.”

“I have to try.”

He seemed to understand that, and he nodded. His eyes moved to Poe, almost sheepishly, before he turned and left.

Rey nudged Poe as she sat back down. “I think you have an admirer.”

He snorted. “I better. I’ve been on three dates with him.”

Rey’s mouth fell open. “What? When did that happen?”

He shrugged. “Ran into him at the store that night he dropped that package off for you, and we just… I dunno.”

She rolled her eyes. “That was like a week ago. You’ve been on  _ three  _ dates already?”

“ _ Technically _ , we’ve been on many more than that if you catch my drift.”

She hit him playfully on the arm. “Gross! You’re such a—”

“A slut? I know, I have a problem.”

Rey just rolled her eyes. “Okay, I’m going to go upstairs before you tell me any more about your sex life.”

As she walked away, he called after her, “But I have so many good stories! Rey!” She giggled as she climbed up the stairs and disappeared from his view. She retreated to her room and opened the envelope Finn had given her. There was no message, just a few hundred dollar bills. 

She sighed and put the money with the rest.

*****

Kylo heard a hesitant knock on his door around six. “Come in,” he called, knowing it was bound to be Finn. Only he knocked like that.

Sure enough, Finn came in and stood before his desk. He shifted side to side awkwardly as if he were hiding something. 

“What is it?” he asked.

Finn opened his mouth as if to say something, but no words came out. He closed his mouth, then opened it again, before he finally just sighed and held out a crumpled envelope. “This is, uh, for you,” he stammered out with his eyes cast down. 

Kylo took it. “From whom?” he asked, but he knew.

“From her,” Finn said and left the room.

Kylo flipped the envelope over in his hands. The front had his name scrawled across it.  _ Ben _ , written in choppy, messy script. For a few moments, he just studied the envelope, wondering if he truly wanted to open it. Finally, he did. It was a letter that read:

_ Ben,  _

_ Who are you? I suppose I should thank you for the money and the clothes first… so thank you. But who are you? Why are you sending me these things? Is it just out of the goodness of your heart? Why? I need to know.  _

_ I think we met each other the other day. I think that was you, who I ran into, though your friend called you Ren. The man who bought my clothes was named Kylo Ren. Is that you? A friend?  _

_ I need answers, Ben. And I think the only way I can get them is if we meet in person. Please.  _

_ ~Rey _

Kylo sat there for a moment, processing her letter. She wanted to meet? No, they couldn’t meet. She wouldn’t— it just wouldn’t work. No. He grabbed a stray piece of paper on his desk and wrote a quick reply, his hands shaking—  _ why _ were his hands shaking? He could beat a man within an inch of his life, and remain calm, but one letter from Rey, and he was shaking.

Once he was done writing, he sealed the letter in an envelope and called Finn back into his office. “Here,” he said. “See that she gets this. Tonight.”

Finn looked like he was about to protest when he caught the look on Kylo’s face. All resistance bled out of him, and he simply nodded, took the envelope and left.

Kylo released a breath as the door closed, and he noticed the wrought tension throughout his body. He willed himself to relax as he refocused on his work. But no matter what he did, his hands still shook.

*****

Rey had just finished folding some of her clothes and putting them in the drawers under her bed when a knock sounded at her door. She frowned and glanced at the clock. It was past “open hours,” so Poe had to be gone, and she wasn’t that friendly with the other residents here… so who the hell was at her door?

She opened it partially, just enough to see who it was, and then opened it fully. “I thought you’d left,” she told Poe as she welcomed him into her room. Finn followed behind him, though she nearly closed the door on him. “Oh, didn’t see you there,” she said apologetically.

He shrugged. “It’s okay… Um, here,” he said, holding out an envelope with her name scrawled across the front in Ben’s beautiful hand. 

She took it. “Thanks.”

Poe and Finn didn’t make any moves to leave, so Rey was left wondering if they wanted something else. 

“Do you guys need something, or…?”

Finn bit his lip. 

Poe watched him as if expecting him to say something, but when Finn remained silent, Poe sighed and started talking. “Finn has something he needs to tell you. Don’t you, Finn?” Poe was usually a light-hearted, fun guy. It was one of the reasons Rey liked him. But the tone he’d just used with Finn seemed almost annoyed, even a little exasperated. 

“I’m not supposed to say anything,” Finn said defensively, turning to Poe. “I shouldn’t have told you, let alone  _ her _ !” 

Poe shook his head and stepped closer to the other man, not threateningly, but closing the comfortable distance between them all the same. “Look, it either comes from you, or it comes from me, but either way she’s going to find out.”

They stared each other down for a moment before Finn released a breath and turned back to face Rey. She raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to spill whatever beans he had.

“I told you earlier. I don’t know what he wants with you… but whatever it is, it can’t be good.” He sighed and walked around her to sit on her bed, his head hanging low. “My parents sold me off to them before I could even read, but they recruit people at all ages. People like you are vulnerable. You have no money, no family, no connections… you’re just you. Easily missed. And—”

“What are you talking about?” Rey interrupted, feeling completely lost. 

“I’m talking about Kylo Ren,” Finn said. “I’m talking about the youngest person to rise through the ranks of the local mafia. The guy who’s been sending you clothes and money and having me watch you at all hours of the day to see what you do, where you go, who you are.” Rey swallowed a lump that was quickly forming in her throat. “He’s dangerous. And like I keep saying, I don’t know what he wants from you, but it is  _ not _ good. Trust me,” he said, his eyes taking on a desperate glint. “Get out while you still can.”

A heavy silence followed Finn’s little speech, and honestly? Rey didn’t know what to say. She’d never met Kylo, she’d never even heard of him until the tailor had told her he bought her those clothes. 

“Who’s Ben?” she asked.

“Who?”

“Whenever he sends me something, he sends a note and signs it Ben. Who’s Ben?”

Finn frowned. “It must be Kylo,” he said. “He’s the only one who sends you anything. I’d know. I’m his assistant. Maybe he used a fake name, though… why would he?”

Rey shook her head. This was all too much to process. Too much to think about. “I, uh, I need to be alone,” she said. It was clear from the two men’s faces that this declaration was sudden and caught them by surprise, but neither argued, and they left her to think, closing the door softly behind them. Once she was alone, she sunk onto her bed, her mind drowning in thoughts.  _ What does it all mean? _

She realized then that Ben’s—Kylo’s?—letter was still in her hand. She ripped it open and read it:

_ We can’t meet. I can’t explain, but I can’t meet you. It’d be better if we don’t have any contact at all, actually. It’d be better if the money I sent you today is the last thing I ever send. It’d be better if I just left you alone. You’d be better off. _

_ ~Ben _

 

_ P.S. If you really need answers, I understand, but I can’t meet. 706-486-9090. _

 

Rey read over it three times. She stared at the phone number. After everything Finn had told her, after everything  _ Ben _ had told her, she shouldn’t still want to talk to him. She shouldn’t  _ need _ to talk to him.

But should is a four letter word.

*****

Kylo had finally given up on work and gone home around eleven. It was earlier than most nights, but his thoughts were clouded. Perhaps he shouldn’t have responded to her letter and just stopped contact all together. Perhaps he never should have sent her anything, other than simply returning her wallet. 

No matter what, he shouldn’t have given her his number. What was he  _ thinking _ ?

He shook his head at himself when he got home, exasperated at himself. He’d spent practically the entire day thinking about Rey. The  _ entire _ day. He needed to clear his mind. The best way for him to do that was to workout, but he doubted even that would truly rid his mind of her. Wouldn’t hurt to try, though. 

He made his way to his home-gym and worked out for nearly two hours. He  _ was _ just going to run, work up a sweat, and call it a night. But he’d lost himself somewhere along the way, and as his muscles burned, and his sweat dripped, his mind began to clear. So he ended up running for an hour, stretching for ten minutes, and boxing for thirty. By then, he was drenched in sweat, so at nearly 1am, he stepped into a hot shower and cleaned himself. 

He was quick and was toweling off in no time. His mind was so clear now that he even logged into his laptop, optimistically hoping he could get some work done. He had just pulled on some lounge pants when his laptop lit up and started ringing… He was getting a video call. It was an unknown number, but in his line of work, that wasn’t that odd. What made it odd was that it was a video call. 

Without thinking about the fact that he was shirtless, he answered. 

He literally felt the blood drain from his face. He stood, in all his half-naked glory, in front of Rey. Her eyes betrayed surprise, though they worked their way up and down his torso. 

“I’d, uh, rather not do this right now,” he said.

Her face hardened. “Yeah, well, me too. I had to borrow this phone from the lady downstairs for this.”

Odd for her to say she didn’t “want” to do this right now, seeing as she was the one who called  _ him _ . 

“Then why call?” he asked.

“I couldn’t sleep until I knew. I need answers,  _ honest _ answers.”

He wasn’t sure he could do honest, but he’d try. “Ask away.”

She seemed momentarily shocked at his prompt, but she soon recovered and asked, “What’s your real name?”

“Ben.”

“But Finn—”

“My  _ real _ name is Ben. Kylo is my fake.”

“Huh.” For a moment, that was all she said. The silence between them seemed to drag out forever, and he decided to move the laptop to his bed so that he could at least be comfortable. Finally, she asked another question, one that shocked him. “Are you a mobster?”

He was shocked by the question, yes, but he couldn’t help but laugh. It was such an odd way to phrase it. He supposed in some people’s eyes, that was exactly what he was. Snoke’s organization was far from being 100% legal, and there were definitely aspects of his job that required him to use illegal methods—like the other day—but  _ he _ himself wouldn’t use that word to describe his current occupation. 

His answer was more simple, “To some, I suppose.”

“What does that even mean?” she asked, her tone a little incredulous.

“A large part of my job is legal, believe it or not.”

She frowned. “Finn told me you were dangerous.”

“Since when are you and Finn friends?” He was sure he’d told him not to interact with her.

“We’re not,” she said, “but the guy he's dating is my friend. He told me he didn’t know what you wanted from me, but it wasn’t good.” Kylo clenched his jaw at that. Finn had no right. “What  _ do _ you want?”

_ From you? Everything.  _ “I don’t want anything.”

She eyed him skeptically. Even with the digital veil the screens and cameras provided, he felt as if she could see him,  _ really  _ see him. See into his soul. He squirmed under her gaze. “Finn told me you’re having him watch me, to see what I do and where I go.”

His jaw pulsed, and he remained silent. It wasn’t a question.

“Why?” she whispered.

He couldn’t think of anything, so he spoke the truth. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” she repeated.

“All I know is that one of our guys took your wallet, I found out you were living at that halfway house, and I had it returned. But I—” he stopped. 

“You what?” she prompted, pushing to get the answers she so desperately needed.

“I couldn’t stop. I had to send you more money. And the clothes… well, no one should have to wear the same outfit every day. You should have clean clothes.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Why didn’t you deliver them yourself?”

_ You mean, why did I hide behind the name Ben and why did I use Finn to do the legwork?  _ “It was safer for you.”

“Safer?” her brow was creased more deeply than it had been all night. “What do you mean?”

He sighed. “My, uh, my boss. Snoke. He looks for people like you, vulnerable, lonely—”

“Why does everyone keep saying I’m vulnerable?” she exclaimed. He winced. 

“—and he takes advantage of them,” he continued. “He gets them hooked on drugs or whores or both, so much so that they bury themselves in debt to him. He knows they can’t pay him back, so he makes them work for him in exchange. If he knew about you, he wouldn’t hesitate to do the same to you.”

“Why would you work for someone like him?” Her tone was disbelieving. She didn’t know him, yet she couldn’t believe he could work for someone like Snoke. Maybe she just couldn’t believe  _ anyone _ could work for someone like him.

“Because he did the same thing to me that he does to everyone else. He fed on an insecurity and turned me against everyone that ever cared about me. I’m trapped just as much as the next guy.” 

The silence that followed was heavy. It stretched out between the two of them for who knows how long. Logically, Kylo knew it was only about thirty seconds, maybe a minute, but it felt like longer. He watched as her face contorted into one of contemplation as she mulled over his words. She didn’t have a response, not right away, anyway.

“I want to meet you,” she said finally. 

“No,” he said immediately. “No, you need to stay where you are, and I need to stay where I am. I won’t send you anything else. I won’t have Finn follow you. You’ll never hear from me again.”

“What if I want to?”

Kylo was honestly too shocked to come up with a response.

“What if I want to hear from you? I… I felt something. The day we ran into each other on the street, I felt— I can’t even describe it. But I can’t ignore it.” She paused for a moment, and he was about to continue with his objections when she whispered softly, “Please, Ben.”

It had been so long since he’d heard his real name. So long since he’d heard it without malice, without scorn or disappointment. The word had just rolled off her tongue like the sweetest of lullabies. And he was powerless to resist it.

“Okay,” he said, his own voice more breathless than he’d intended. 

“Tomorrow,” Rey stated. “Noon, the coffee shop down the street from the halfway house. You know the one?”

Of course he did. “Yes.”

“See you then,” she said as way of goodbye and ended the call.

Kylo huffed out a singular laugh as he closed his laptop, setting it on the nightstand next to him. As he burrowed into the sheets, he muttered, “see you” into the empty room.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a while, but I'm back!! Hope you guys like this chapter, and as always, thanks for the kudos and comments!!

Kylo really didn’t know what to expect from this meeting with Rey. He wasn’t sure what she was expecting either. But the whole thing had his stomach tied up in knots regardless. He was so nervous, he didn’t even go into work, deciding to either go in afterwards or take the whole day. He hadn’t heard anything from Snoke or Hux, so he was presumably only responsible for his legal job. For now. And that job could wait a day. 

They weren’t meeting at some fancy restaurant, far from it, but he still felt the need to wear a pair of nice, black slacks and a form-fitting button down shirt. After he was dressed, he looked himself over in the full-length mirror on his wall. He looked… overdressed was the first word to mind. He ran a hand through his unruly hair and cursed himself. He tried going for a more casual look by rolling up his sleeves. That helped. 

Finally, he made his way to the coffee shop where he would meet Rey—officially—for the first time. His stomach twisted tighter and tighter the closer he got. And it was stupid, really. Very, very stupid of him to be scared of a girl. He could beat a man—hell, he could  _ kill _ a man, and it wouldn’t phase him. But Rey? 

He shook his head at himself as he entered the shop. It was a quiet shop, though there was a soft buzz of conversation that filled the air as well as background music flowing out of the speakers in the ceiling. His eyes scanned the room, first for any obvious threats (out of habit) and then for Rey. He wasn’t sure if he relaxed or tensed when he didn’t see her. He glanced at his watch, perhaps he was early. It was 12 o’clock on the dot. Realizing he was holding up the line, he ordered a black coffee and found a table by the window. 

He only had to wait a few minutes before the bell chimed above the door, and Rey walked in. His eyes were immediately drawn to her, and it seemed hers were just as drawn to him because she met his gaze as quickly as he’d sought hers out. When their eyes met, Kylo felt an odd  _ jolt _ burn through him. It unsettled him, and he released a rattled breath as she moved closer to him and slid into the seat opposite him. 

“Hey,” she said quietly.

He clenched his jaw and swallowed the lump in his throat, but even then, he wasn’t sure he could speak, so he simply nodded as way of greeting. 

“I wasn’t sure you’d show,” she admitted, her voice giving away every emotion she was trying so carefully to hide. 

“Well, here I am,” he said, determined not to stay silent forever.

A ghost of a smile touched her lips, but she didn’t say anything. Neither of them did. They just sat there for who knows how long, looking at one another, assessing one another. Kylo thought of things to say, ways to start conversation, and the words even reached the tip of his tongue, but he never said them. Always chickened out before he had the chance.

At some point, he couldn’t stand it anymore, though, and he said, “What do you want from me?”

She frowned. “I thought  _ you _ wanted something from  _ me _ .”

“I told you last night, I don’t want anything from you.”  _ Liar.  _ “You’re the one who said you wanted to hear from me. Wanted something from me. So what is it?”

Rey averted her eyes for the first time that day and said quietly, “I just wanted…” she trailed off, leaving her thought unfinished. But somehow,  _ somehow _ he knew. He knew what she wanted.

“A connection,” he finished for her. 

Her eyes snapped back to his, surprise hidden deep within them. But he saw it. Then her eyes were focused on the table again. “I wanted to  _ feel _ something again,” she said. “When we saw each other on the street, it was like… ever since my parents left me, I haven’t felt wanted or needed or  _ anything _ . But with you—” she broke off and shook her head as if afraid to complete her thought. She sighed after a few moments and said, “I want to get to know you. Simple as that.”

“Why would you want to get to know  _ me _ ?” he asked before he could stop himself. He sounded pathetic.

“Like I said, I felt something that day we ran into each other. Tell me you didn’t feel it too.”

He clenched his jaw. Oh, he felt it. He had definitely felt it. But she shouldn’t want him. She shouldn’t want to get to know him; this wasn't some grand fairy tale. This would only end in disaster for her. So he should have pushed her away, told her that he couldn’t give her what she wanted. That she didn’t want to know the real him because the real him wasn’t worth her time. He should have told her that as nice as he seemed now, anger always bubbled beneath his surface. Anger he couldn’t always control. 

Instead, he said, “So what do you suggest we do about it?”

*****

“For the record,” Poe said for the billionth time, “I still think this is a bad idea.”

“I second that,” Finn piped up.

Rey rolled her eyes as she turned to them. They were sitting side by side on her bed, watching as she got ready. “Well, unfortunately for you two, what I do is not up to you.” She shook her head as she turned back to the mirror, smoothing the dress down over her hips. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d worn a dress. Probably never, if she thought hard enough. She’d pulled her hair back into three buns, but allowed a few strands to fall loose around her face. She hadn’t put on makeup, partially because she didn’t own any and partially because she felt self-conscious enough as it was. She didn’t need to put anything on her face to make her feel more so. 

Satisfied with her appearance, she turned back to Poe and Finn, who were looking at her with twin looks of worry. 

“Would you two please just stop that? I’m nervous enough as it is.”

“I can’t help it. You’re going out with a literal mobster,” Poe said. 

“He doesn’t like that word,” she claimed. 

Poe gave her a flat look. “I’m glad you’re putting yourself out there, don’t get me wrong, but does it have to be with him?”

Rey sighed. “He won’t hurt me.”

“How do you know that?”

She didn’t, truth be told. She just  _ felt  _ it, deep in her gut; she knew Ben wouldn’t hurt her, not intentionally at least. She couldn’t even attempt to explain that to Poe, or how she was inexplicably drawn to Ben. How a sense of calm and security washed over her by just being near him. How could she say that to Poe without him thinking she’s crazy? Especially when she wasn’t so sure herself.

“I just know,” she said defiantly. Glancing at the clock on the wall, she realized she needed to leave now, or she’d be late. “I have to go.” She turned to leave, but Poe stopped her.

“Wait, Rey.” She turned back. “Take this,” he said, holding out his phone. “If you need me, text Finn, okay? Promise me you’ll text or call if you need anything.”

She gave him a smile and took the phone. “I will.” She meant it. If something went wrong tonight—and she doubted anything would—she would have no one but Poe. Of course she’d call him. She slid the phone into her purse as she left the shelter and made her way downtown. The night air was cooling off now that the sun had gone down, so it was perfect weather to walk in. She was glad she’d insisted on meeting at the restaurant instead of having Ben pick her up. She wasn’t sure she could have taken being in such close proximity to him so soon. 

Rey paused outside the restaurant when she finally reached it. They’d agreed to meet outside, so she waited. It only took a few minutes. Ben appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, and her breath caught in her throat. He looked like he was wearing the same outfit as earlier today, but the sleeves of his shirt were rolled down, and he wore a blazer over it. The top three buttons of his shirt were left undone, and she trailed his exposed skin with her eyes before dragging her gaze away and meeting his. 

Much like earlier, and much like when they’d met on the street, she was struck by the intensity of his gaze. It seemed as if he could see through her and into her soul, and as if she could do the same to him. Apparently, she wasn’t the only one who was affected because Ben released a shaky breath as he stopped before her, his eyes roaming over her. A heartbeat passed between them before either of them spoke. 

“Hungry?” he asked finally.

She smiled. “Starved.”

An emotion fluttered across his face as he opened the door for her, but it disappeared as quickly as it came. 

*****

The date was going… well. If Kylo wasn’t mistaken. Rey was smiling, laughing, eating. Yes, it was going well, it would seem. Part of him couldn’t believe it, but part of him pushed his doubts away and forced him to enjoy himself a little.

“You can’t seriously eat something else,” he said, his tone lighter than he himself had ever heard it.

“Is that a challenge?” Rey asked playfully.

He released a huff of a laugh. “No, anything but.”

“What, you don’t want dessert?” She asked, licking her lips.

His eyes darted down and followed the movement.  _ Not the kind you’re thinking of _ , he thought. “I’m full,” he claimed.

She narrowed her eyes at him, something that shouldn’t have been as adorable as it was. “Well, I want dessert.”

“Then, dessert you shall have,” he said.

“Are you sure?” Her tone took on an uncertain edge to it. “I mean, all this,” she gestured to the cleared plates around them, “must have cost a fortune, and dessert will only—”

“It doesn’t matter.” Was she seriously worried about money? “I can afford it.”

“But I—”

“You didn’t really think I was going to make you pay for dinner, did you?” he asked.

“Well,” she looked sheepish for a moment. “I didn’t want to assume.”

“Order whatever you want for dessert,” he told her. 

And so she did. She got two desserts because she couldn’t choose between them. And she ate them both in their entirety. It really was amazing how much food she could put away. In the back of his mind, it made sense, seeing as how she’d probably been malnourished for most of her life, but he would have thought that much food would have made someone like her sick. Though, it seemed to have the opposite effect on her. 

She was finishing off her second dessert when the waiter dropped off the bill, and Ben paid it. Soon, they were leaving the restaurant, and it didn’t seem to dawn on either of them until they were outside. They both paused as the door to the restaurant closed, and they were cut off from the busy buzz of noise. It was suddenly very quiet. Rey had been talking as they left, but she had stopped as soon as they stepped outside. It dawned on them at the same time that this was where the date was supposed to end. 

“Thank you,” Rey said. “For dinner.”

“Anytime,” he replied, and he meant it. He could do this anytime. 

A cold gust of wind blew past them, making Rey shiver. She hugged herself and rubbed her arms. 

“Let me give you a ride home,” he offered. “It’s too cold to walk back to the shelter in that dress.”

Rey looked hesitant for the briefest of moments… Perhaps, things hadn’t gone as well as he’d thought. Then, she said, “Okay.”

He nodded as way of accepting her acceptance and led her to his car. It was quiet as they got in and buckled their seat belts. He started the car and started driving, the silence between them growing stronger and more awkward the longer it lasted. Thankfully, the shelter was only a few minutes away. 

When he slowed to a stop, he put the car in park and turned to face Rey, who unbuckled her seat belt and faced him as well. Her eyes met his, and the rest of the world just… fell away. It was the first time, they’d made eye contact since the restaurant, he realized. And he was already breathless from it. 

“Thanks, again,” she said. 

“You’re welcome.”

She still didn’t move to get out of his car. Was she… waiting for something?

“We’ll have to do this again,” he said, hoping she felt the same.

She practically beamed at him. “I’d like that.” She leaned forward, then, and pressed her lips to his cheek. It was a brief, soft, sweet gesture, but it shook him to his core. His skin  _ burned  _ where her lips had touched him, and he itched to reach for her and kiss her properly, but he resisted. He watched her pull back, get out of his car, and retreat into the safety of the shelter. He sat there and watched the building long after she had disappeared from his sight, unwilling to leave her just yet.


End file.
